Courtney Corey

Adventures in African Drumming

2009-01-15T18:01:00.000-08:00

I am currently marking off things from a long-standing list of "Things I Want To Do." The most recent undertaking was bringing my son to an African Drumming Class. Greeted at the door by a beautiful maternal African woman, who called me "mommy," I knew we were in for a treat. We spent a half hour playing different rhythms on the Djembe, accompianing our instructor as he added extra rhythms on top of our own. We sang, danced, and embraced the music. I looked over to my son at one point, and he had closed his eyes, so that he could feel the music. His body swayed from side to side, as his little hands made contact with the drum head.

It was at this moment I realized that the need to express ourselves through music is something that is innate to all of us. Other cultures sing and dance all the time to celebrate, to teach, to tell stories. When did we as modern-day Westerners become so disjointed from our natural inclinations to sing and dance? So many adults will say, "Oh, I can't sing," or "I don't play an instrument." A child would never say those things. They sing and dance without inhibition. Maybe it is time for all of us to add music back onto our lists of "Things I Want To Do."

Cardio Snob Enlightenment

2009-01-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

So today I decided to take the "CardioMix" class at the gym. The gym and I are just getting reacquainted after many, many months. Let me rephrase that...after many, many years. And this class, even though I knew it was an old school aerobics class (which I hate), fit into my schedule.

I walked into the room and instantly realized the clientele was drastically different than the yoga classes I occasionally visit. Mature women who are the diehard Jazzercise type, and lots of stay-at-home moms trying to lose that baby weight which has built up over the years. Almost all the women had slender torsos, and the ubiquitous pear-shaped lower halves.

I took my place somewhere in the middle of the floor (not too far back so I could see, not too far forward so the peppy teacher wouldn't engage in ultra-positive, cheerleader banter with me during pony steps.) The woman to the right of the instructor was deemed the low-impact model. Obviously this women was an institution to the class, probably having attended it since the early 1980s when the class began. She was well-equipped with a floral leotard, white tights, and bright white Reeboks. (This is 2009?)

Well, I felt that I had already started out being very judgmental, and my bias leaned even further when the CD (which played songs which were neither current, nor retro) skipped about 50 times. The instructor didn't really seem to care, and neither did all 40 or so bouncy students. No one even cared that she had choreographed in 3/4 time to 4/4 music! Here is where the music snob in me started to surface.

Having sustained a back injury last year, I followed "white tights" and kept things moderately easy. After a series of about 80 or so grapevines, one of the students yelped at the top of her lungs. Her battle cry was echoed by other whoop-whoops and hollers. It began to sound like a tribal celebration of women who were ecstatic they were able to endure so many heel-kicks, step-touches, and jazz-squares.

My indignation began to wear off, as I realized I was the only one not having fun. Everyone else was present minded, open minded, and truly joyous. And if all it takes is a kick ball change, than I should follow suit. So, I threw out the ego, and bounced my way through the end of the class, where I ended up with sweat dripping off my face, and a smile.

Public Speaking and Nerves

2009-01-10T14:58:00.000-08:00

The next time you have to speak in front of an audience, think nothing of the past and nothing of the future. Do not worry if you forget the lines you have spent so long practicing. Do not worry what the audience will think of you. The only way to create synergy with your audience is if you stay connected to the present moment. Show your audience the joy you have for what you are speaking about, and you will have success.

Excerpt from "Peace Is Every Step"

2009-01-10T14:48:00.000-08:00

The following is an excerpt from Thich Nhat Hanh's "Peace Is Every Step."

Enjoy...

Twenty-Four Brand New Hours

Every morning, when we wake up, we have twenty-four brand new hours to live. What a precious gift! We have the capacity to live in a way that these twenty-four hours will bring peace, joy, and happiness to ourselves and others.

Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive.

"I Love You"

2009-01-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

My uncle, Keith, passed away last spring. It was quite sudden. He had miraculously lived into his mid 40's, although had barely been expected to make it past childhood. Keith was born with spina bifida, a condition that caused him to be paralyzed. He had defied all medical timelines, and his optimism and zest for life, plus his mother's amazing care, I believe, is the reason he lived such a full life.

The thing I will remember most about Keith was that he said, "I love you" all the time. Probably twenty times a day or more to the various people he interacted with. His mom, his sister, his nephew, his cousin, his dog, the next door neighbor, probably even the postal carrier! He and I would sit in his room, watching a baseball game, and out of the blue he would say, "I love you." I accepted it as a kid. (That's Keith's way, I would think.) I probably grew slightly weary of it as a teenager. But, as an adult, I began to realize how amazing it was to hear those three words so often.

When my son was born, Keith constantly told him how much he loved him. Little Jack would waddle around not really responding to Keith's affection. He was too busy playing with toys, running around, getting in trouble... (Poor Keith, I would think.) I think Jack's lack of understanding hurt him. But finally when Jack was about four-years old, he told Keith that he loved him, too. Around that same time, I noticed Jack telling me how much he loved me every day, and my husband, and our parents, and our pets!!

Keith died shortly after that. He will be greatly missed, but this profound lesson that he taught our family will live on for generations. We are a family that tells each other every day that we love one another. Thank you, Keith.

UM, LIKE, and Other Verbal Static

2008-06-15T17:57:00.000-07:00

How many conversations have you been privy to where all you could notice were the incessant verbal ramblings of the other speaker?

"Hi, James. How are you?"
"I am, you know. I was, like, really busy all last week, with meetings and all. Working twelve hour days… It was rough, you know what I mean?"

Pretty annoying, isn’t it? Now, turn the mirror onto your own speech patterns. I bet most people have fallen victim to language blunders at one time or another. I know I have. Hey, if you hear others doing it, chances are you may fall into similar speech patterns.

Oftentimes, we use, what I call, verbal static to bide us some time as we are coming up with the right words to say. By using words and phrases such as “um,” “like,” and “you know,” we speak in very ambling pattern, taking quite a bit of time to get to the point of our message.

“Pauses in speech (point) to thinking – not, … a lack of thinking, a gap between thoughts, some psychic tension, or embarrassment,” says linguist and author Michael Erard, in his book “UM – Slips, Stumbles, and Verbal Blunders, and What They Mean.”

So, don't beat yourself up because you said the word "like" twenty-five times today. Instead, keep the momentum of your thoughts moving forward. Tune in to the meaning of your speech, do not dwell on the static. And when you get a chance, pick up a copy of Michael Erard's amusing book. His tales of verbal blunders will entertain and also let you know we all have had our moments of slips and stumbles, no matter how eloquent we think we are.

Being Green in the Workplace

2008-06-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

Is having an eco-conscious image an asset in the workplace? Since Al Gore’s “Inconvenient Truth” hit the big screen, we have seen a growing trend towards environmental awareness. Many companies have taken the leap into the global consciousness arena. Whether these organizations are truly concerned about our global futures, or they are jumping on a PR bandwagon is up for debate. Nevertheless, the result is a marketplace where “being green” is becoming a prerequisite for consideration as being competitive and progressive.

The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) recently released the results of their Green Workplace Survey. 50% of the surveyed (US) organizations claimed to have a formal or informal environmental responsibility policy, yet 43% have no such policy and no plans to implement one within the next year.

For the companies that have implemented environmental responsibility programs:

· 44% cited improved employee morale

· 16% cited increased employee loyalty

· 42% cited stronger public image for the company

· 20% cited increased consumer/customer confidence/choice

· 19% cited a positive financial bottom line

Of the companies who found obstacles creating environmental programs:

· 85% said the difficulties were due to implementation cost

· 74% said the difficulties were due maintenance cost

· 43% stated the difficulties were because of the lack of management support

· 25% stated the difficulties were because of the lack of employee support

· 20% were concerned about workplace inefficiency

Yet, of these companies who have not put into practice any environmental efforts, 73% percent of surveyed employees thought it was very or somewhat important that their organization develop an environmental responsibility policy.

Many of the companies that have successfully implemented environmental programs have seen huge returns for their efforts. Pamela Gordon has stated in her book Lean and Green that “capitalism and environmentalism are not mutually exclusive. ‘Green’ business practices can actually help organizations save millions, even billions of dollars each year.” The book Green to Gold: How Smart Companies Use Environmental Strategies to Innovate, Create Value and Build Competitive Strategy, by Daniel C. Esty and Andrew S. Winston echoes this same principle.

Clients and consumers are coming to expect more from companies. These days where money is short and consciousness is growing, people want their dollar to go far and in the right places. Learning that a company engages in unfair trade practices, damages the environment, or is indifferent to global awareness issues is a PR pitfall, and will hurt many companies in the end. If companies go green, environmentally speaking, they will likely see more green, financially speaking.

To purchase the above-mentioned books, go to http://www.amazon.com

To purchase a full copy of SHRM survey, go to http://www.shrm.org/surveys/

Managing Stress, or "Learning How to Not Act Like a Crazy Person in Public"

2008-06-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

Years ago I was directing a production of “The Tender Trap” at a small theatre in San Diego. Once I realized that the theatre hardly had any money to hire a crew, I quickly added set designer, carpenter, painter, prop master, and all around gopher to my list of duties. I worked morning, noon, and night, running errands, rehearsing my cast, and creating a set somewhat worthy of the production. I practically lived at the theatre, rarely even seeing the light of day in that dark, cavernous space. Needless to say, by tech week I felt as if I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. (What a visual!)

While out running errands, I often frequented any and every fast food restaurant that could provide temporary sustenance (and heartburn), sometimes even twice a day. Keep in mind I hate fast food restaurants! Also keep in mind that I did not clean my car out every day of the old bags from the various fast food establishments. My car probably smelled like rotten cheese, old meat, and dirty socks, but I didn’t even notice. I was used to it.

One day before rehearsal, I hurried to Carl’s Jr. to order a hamburger and a soda. I drove up to the window to pay the personality-free woman behind the drive-thru counter with the loose change that I salvaged from between the seats. I placed the bag next to my seat and then decided it best to pull forward into a parking space to prepare my burger for the drive. Without looking, I reached down to my right to grab the bag, which “Miss No Humor” just gave me. I took the wrapped burger out of its bag and then flattened out the bag as if it were a plate. This way, I would be able to consume the burger whilst talking on the phone, drinking my 42 ounce Coke that won’t fit into my cup holder, and driving on the freeway. Safety first!? So, I unwrapped the wrinkled burger wrapper to discover that it had been half eaten!! I was completely disgusted. Ever since middle school I have heard urban legend after urban legend of rats in coke cans and fingers in tacos, so of course I assumed that some jerk at that drive-thru window had played a cruel trick on me.

I grabbed the bag, dumping the despicable joke of a burger inside, and stormed into the wretched establishment. I marched up to the counter and demanded that someone explain to me how a half eaten burger was sold to me for $1.99. I paid $1.99 for a whole burger, not a half burger with a side of someone else’s germs! (I think I really said that!) I yelled at each and every employee at that counter in full booming voice so all can hear, and I violently and repeatedly waved the bag in front of them. I saw the looks on their faces. They were motionless - emotionless. No one responded. Not a manager, an assistant manager, or an assistant-assistant manager! And then I saw a smirk on the fry guy’s face back in the kitchen area. In the slowest motion possible, I turned my head to look at the bag I had just been thrashing about. It was from McDonald’s. Then, as if my brain was also working in slow motion, I realized that I had grabbed that burger out of yesterday’s McDonald’s bag. The warm, whole hamburger from Carl’s Jr. was still sitting in my car next to the driver’s seat.

I flew out of that place and sought refuge in my smelly car. Once my nerves had calmed I burst out into uncontrollable laughter. I couldn’t believe I had let stress get the better of me. Then it donned on me I had just learned lesson number 4,528 in Courtney’s Mental Book of Life Lessons – Do not let stress consume you to the point that you make an absolute and complete blundering idiot of yourself in public.

From that day forward, I became much more aware of my stress level. That is not to say that I have not had an “off” day here and there. We all do – we are human! But, I have realized how to handle my stress so as not to let it build up to the point it did that infamous day at the fast food joint.

If we do not learn to manage our stress, we not only run the risk of developing some serious medical conditions, we carry that negative tension with us like a lit-up billboard super-glued to our foreheads. People can feel our stress. Heck, they can even see it! Our shoulders tense up, our brow wrinkles, our eyes look unclear, our breathing is shallow. Our speech is stagnant and strained, and our minds seem to be in a distant land far, far away. If you carry stress with you to your meetings, your business lunches, and your presentations you might as well not have even shown up to work. Your associates, your clients, and your audience will not only feel uncomfortable around you, they will be distracted by your tension, and you will not accomplish your goals.

One of the best ways to alleviate tension is to practice breathing. I know - you breathe all the time, otherwise you would not be reading this blog right now since you would be dead. Subsistence breathing is not enough! I encourage you to become more mindful of your breathing. Mindful breathing will relax your muscles, nourish your soul, and give you strength. It can help direct you to the present moment, and take your thoughts out of stressful situations in the past, or nerve-racking situations in the future.

Here is a simple stress relieving technique you should try so that can avoid acting like a crazy person in public:

Seated Breathing Exercise

You may do this exercise seated in a chair. This is a great exercise to do when you have a few spare minutes at the office or at home. Sit towards the front edge of the chair with your feet flat on the floor in order to maintain proper alignment (i.e. “Avoid slouching.”)

With your hands on your thighs, palms up, retract your shoulder blades back slightly until that you feel openness in your chest. Gently shut your eyes. Your lips should be slightly open and your jaw should be relaxed so that your teeth are not clinched.

Slowly inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Each time you inhale, feel your lungs expand as if your torso were a balloon. You will notice your tummy expand as well. Each time you exhale, resist the urge to collapse your posture.

For the first minute or so, simply focus on the inhale and the exhale. Remain focused in the present moment. Let all worries, thoughts, and ideas evaporate into space. Again, simply focus on the lungs filling with air on the inhale, and the gentle breeze that releases from your lips on the exhale.

After some time, you may bring your focus to certain phrases, which will help to further relieve stress. Try one or more of these per session.

FOR RELEASING ANXIETY

Upon each inhale visualize the words, “I am calm. “

Upon each exhale visualize the words, “ I am relaxed.”

FOR CENTERING YOUR SPIRIT

Upon each inhale visualize the words, “I fill my body with peace.”

Upon each exhale visualize the words, “I fill the world with compassion.”

FOR INSPIRATION AND REJUVINATION

Upon each inhale visualize the words, “My mind is alert.”

Upon each exhale visualize the words, “My spirit is ready.”

This exercise will probably take a few minutes. It is a good idea to practice this several times a day, or whenever you are feeling tense.

Car Makeover

2008-05-26T10:57:00.000-07:00

How many hours a week do you spend in your car? I spend over 24 hours per week commuting to work, running errands, and taking my son to school. So, I figure if I am going to spend that much time in that little mobile compartment, I better make it nice. So, last week, I gave my car a makeover.

Even though my car is new, it did not come equipped with satellite radio. My husband, being the best husband ever, bought me a gift certificate for Sirius Satellite Radio as one of my Christmas presents. I will let you in on a little secret: he did not have to break the bank to get satellite radio installed in my car. Sirius has a deal where you pay $49.99 towards a Sirius gift certificate, and they will send you the Stratus 4 Dock and Play Radio for free! You can use the gift certificate towards your monthly payments, which run about $12 per month for the Sirius service. They have different deals all the time, so check www.sirius.com for details and specials like the one I described. Once the receiver arrived in the mail, we took it to a local car audio installation shop and had it installed for $50! Now I can listen to great talk radio programs and a wide variety of music and comedy channels with no static.

Next, I took my car to get it cleaned at a “touchless” car wash for about $24.

Then I took a trip over to Target and stocked my car with some necessary items:

Tissue
Hand Sanitizer
Lotion
Lip Balm
Stain pen for the occasional spill
First-Aid Kit
Bottles of water
Energy Bars
Wet wipes
Antiseptic Wipes
Jumper Cables
Blanket
CD holder for my visor (for Cds and Audio Books)
Car charger for my phone

I went online and ordered a couple of really cool things from Gaiamliving.com. Prepared for the worst-case scenario, the all purpose survival tool I ordered is 8 tools in 1. “It has a shovel, hammer, saw, hatchet, bottle opener, nail puller, and a wrench. Unscrew the built-in calibrated compass to find an emergency survival kit in a waterproof bag. Also included are matches, fishhooks and line, nails and more.”

Secondly, I purchased the Survival Kit in a Sardine Can. “This lightweight waterproof tin puts an entire survival kit in your pocket. Believe it or not, it holds: a compass, whistle, matches, first aid instructions, razor blade, pencil, non-aspirin pain reliever, fire starter cube, adhesive bandage, energy nugget, reflective signal surface, fish hook & line, duct tape, wire clip, note paper, tea, sugar, salt, gum, watertight bag, safety pin, antibiotic ointment and alcohol prep pad. With all this gear stashed in the smallest possible space to keep bikers, hikers, campers, boaters and adventurers of all kinds prepared, it even floats.”

A couple of other things I did:

Checked to be sure the insurance, AAA, and registration papers are current in glove box
Made a wallet card with emergency phone numbers and put it in the glove box

Now, I feel much more at ease when driving so many hours in the car. My family and I are prepared for an emergency, and I always have a spare tissue to wipe the occasional runny nose.